


The Shadows

by ShadeCrawler



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Pre-Episode: Accepting Anxiety
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-06-18 12:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15486228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeCrawler/pseuds/ShadeCrawler
Summary: How Virgil made the decision to duck out.





	1. Chapter 1

The Light Sides avoided Anxiety’s room.

The only time any of them went near his room was when they needed to speak to him, which Roman tried to avoid at all costs. They would knock on the door, wait for Anxiety to open the door a crack and peer through, and ask him if they could talk in the Commons. Then, although Logan and Roman would both deny it, they would quickly retreat to a more neutral territory.

None of them had actually ever been in Anxiety’s room. Light never shone through underneath the door and he always seemed to turn off any lights that might have been on before he opened the door so that his room remained enclosed in darkness.

But, it wasn’t the mystery of his room that kept them away. It was the noises that would come from within.

They would hear whispers too quiet to make out. Hissed conversations that none of them could make out. Every now and then, a loud scream of “Shut up!” from Anxiety would erupt out from underneath the door, echoing throughout the mindscape. Patton would always rush up to Anxiety’s door at those times and knock on the door frantically until Anxiety opened up the door so Patton could check that he was alright. Anxiety would give a forced smile and nod, reassure Patton that everything was fine before he closed the door again.

The others exchanged theories about what Anxiety could possibly be doing inside that room. The theory that was heard the most was Roman’s. He was certain that he was holding some poor soul in that room and torturing them every day. The only thing that prevented him from breaking down Anxiety’s door and saving the prisoner was that, was Logan explained, that they would feel if another Side was in their part of the Mindscape. So, Anxiety couldn’t possibly be hurting someone. Patton would always defend Anxiety when Roman brought this up, stating that Anxiety would never hurt anyone.

Roman always scoffed and said that he never seemed to have any problem hurting Thomas every day.

But, no matter what noises came from Anxiety’s room, they never went near it if they didn’t have to. Even Patton preferred to stay away. The whispers just creeped everyone out and left a bad feeling in their guts. But, Anxiety never seemed to mind it since he never left his room.

After all, if his room bothered him, he would actually leave it.

* * *

“I promise Patton, I’m fine. I was really caught up in a video, you know how those things can be sometimes.” Virgil forced a smile on his face and ran a hand through his hair. He patted Patton on the shoulder in an attempt to get the parental Side to stop worrying. “I didn’t mean to yell. Sorry about that.”

“That’s okay Kiddo,” Patton said. He smiled at him gently. “You know that you can come down to the Commons at any time, right Anxiety? Or, my room if you want to talk to just me.”

“I know Pat. You don’t mind if I go back to the video now, do you? I’ll be quieter, I promise.” Virgil asked. Patton quickly agreed and Virgil closed the door. He waited until he heard Patton sink down before sighing and resting his head against the door in exhaustion.

_**“You know I don’t really care, right?”** _

Virgil grimaced and turned around, flicking back on the lights as he did so. Patton stared back at him. He had a bright smile on his face and was bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet. The only thing that differentiated him from the real Patton was his eyes. Instead of the warm brown eyes that the real Patton had, this Patton had stormy grey eyes with almost black smoke coming from them. 

Virgil liked to call him Shadow Patton.

He knew that Shadow Patton wasn’t real. He was just a form that Virgil’s anxious thoughts created without his consent. Virgil had heard Roman complain how it happened to him sometimes. He would create something without meaning to. Of course, Virgil had to create one of his worst nightmares. One of the others saying exactly what he feared they were thinking or saying behind his back.

This wasn’t the first time it happened. If Virgil was being honest, he couldn’t actually the number of times this had happened.

**_“I mean, why would I?”_ ** Shadow Patton threw his hands up like he was celebrating something. _**“I just wanted to know when I wouldn’t have to listen to your annoying screaming anymore. You probably did it for attention, you’re so needy! I can hear it all the way from my room.”**_

“You don’t have a room,” Virgil muttered bitterly. Shadow Patton gasped and clutched at his chest.

_**“I do too!”**_ He cried. He wagged a finger at Virgil. **_“You shouldn’t lie Anxiety! It just adds liar to the list of things that are wrong with you.”_**

Virgil shook his head. “You’re not real.” He whispered. “You’re, you’re just a cog, cognitive,”

_**“Cognitive Distortion?”** _

Virgil whirled around to look at the direction where the second voice had come from. Logan was leaning against the wall adjacent to him adjusting his glasses. Like Shadow Patton, he was an exact copy of the real Logan, except for the grey eyes that, like Shadow Patton’s, was leaking black smoke.

_**“Do you really believe that Anxiety?”**_ Shadow Logan’s face was twisted in a smile full of condescending. _**“Cognitive distortions are ways that our mind convinces us of something that isn't true. What Patton and myself are telling you is true. There is absolutely a long list of things that is wrong with you. If you would like, I could list off a few.”**_

Virgil shook his head again and clenched his fists. “You’re not real.” He insisted. “You’re, I don’t know, something I created by accident like Roman does sometimes. You’re just cognitive distortions given form. What you’re saying isn’t real. Patton, the real Patton, likes me. He cares about me.”

Shadow Patton pouted at him and shook his head. _**“No, I don’t.”**_ He said bluntly, ignoring what Virgil said about him not being real. _**“You’re not one of my kids. You’re a Dark Side.”**_ He spoke slowly like Virgil was a young child who needed a little extra help to understand what was being said.

“No.” Virgil’s voice shook. “Deceit lied about that. He lied about a lot of things. I’m not a Dark Side.”

Shadow Logan laughed. **“Well, You’re certainly not a Light Side. We help Thomas.”** He ran his eyes over Virgil’s frame before shaking his head. _**“What do you do except for sending Thomas into a whirlwind of, well, anxiety?”**_

Virgil swallowed nervously. “I, all I do is to protect him.” He whispered.

Shadow Patton stepped forward until he was standing right in front of Virgil and grabbed him by the shoulders. Standing this close to him, Virgil could see the pity in his grey eyes. A wisp of smoke floated by Virgil’s eyes making him tear up.

_**“No, sweety. You don’t.”**_ Shadow Patton squeezed his shoulder in a mock imitation of comfort. _**“All you do is hurt him. Thomas would be better off without you.”**_

Virgil closed his eyes and pushed Shadow Patton away. He turned away and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “I’m trying to keep him from being hurt!” He hissed. “No one thinks of what could happen if things go wrong! What if he gets hurt?!”

_**"The only thing that hurts Thomas, is you.”**_ Shadow Logan shrugged. _**“You really should face facts Anxiety. We would all be much happier if you weren’t around.”** _

Virgil buried his face in his hands and took a deep, counting to four in his head while doing so. He held it for seven seconds before breathing out for eight seconds. He took his face out of his hands and glared at the Shadow versions of the Light Sides

“Everything you’re saying,” Virgil said. “I’ve thought at one point. But, that doesn’t mean that it’s true. Maybe, everyone would be happier if I was gone! But, I have a job to do and that job is an important one, no matter what anyone thinks.”

_**“Wow. And here I thought you couldn’t get even more pathetic than you already were.”** _

Virgil tensed up. Walking over from where his Nightmare Before Christmas poster was hung, black smoke trailing behind him, was Roman. Shadow Roman shot him a blinding smile before hugging Shadow Patton from behind, much to Shadow Patton’s delight.

_**“I mean, you know that’s not true.”**_ Shadow Roman rolled his eyes. _**“Get with the programme Surly Temple. Anyone of us could watch out for Thomas and,”**_ He smirked at Virgil. _**“We could do it without sending him into a panic attack.”**_

Virgil started to shake and tears leaked out of his eyes. He quickly wiped them away and tried to fix his breathing pattern again only to fail and end up breathing even faster.

“I don’t mean to,” Virgil said, his voice wobbling. “I don’t mean to.”

_**“Does it matter really if you don’t mean to?”**_ Shadow Roman asked. _**“You do it, all the time too.”**_ He raised his eyebrow. **“Don’t you _Virgil_?”**

Virgil’s breath caught in his throat.

_He’s not real,_ Virgil tried to reassure himself. _My name is still secret, no one knows it. It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay._ But, it was getting harder and harder to remember that the people standing in front of him weren’t the same Sides that he shared Commons with.

_**“Yeah, Virgil.”**_ Shadow Patton said. He drew out Virgil’s name like he was trying it on for size. **_“You should really just go on with your plan.”_**

Tears leaked out of his eyes again and this time Virgil didn’t bother to wipe them away. “You know about the plan?” Virgil asked.

Shadow Patton grinned at him and Virgil’s face crumbled. His expression was the exact same one the real Patton wore whenever Virgil did something that he approved of. It was the one that whenever Patton wore it, Virgil could pretend that Patton was proud of him.

Shadow Patton bounced up and down in Roman’s arms. **_“Quack quack.”_**

**_“I applaud you for coming up with a plan like this all on your own.”_ ** Shadow Logan said dryly. **_“Certainly saves us the trouble of taking care of you ourselves.”_**

Tears were streaking down Virgil’s face down and his entire body was shaking. “You’re, you’re not real!” He sobbed. Shadow Roman released Shadow Patton and walked towards Virgil until they were standing face to face.

**_“Maybe not.”_** He conceded. **_“But you know that what we’re saying is what they’re thinking. They want you to go so they can go back to their lives. You know what we’re saying is true.”_**

Virgil turned to look at Shadow Patton sadly. “Even Patton?”

Shadow Patton shrugged and smiled apologetically. **_“Sorry, kiddo._** ** _”_**

Virgil jumped when Shadow Roman cupped his face and looked at him more gently than the real Roman ever had.

**_“You need to do this.”_ ** Shadow Roman urged. **_“Thomas will be so much happier without you around. Just lock the door and close yourself off from Thomas. If you really want to help Thomas and the others then this is the way to do it.”_**

Virgil closed his eyes and rubbed at his eyes. He felt like his lungs were filled with ice. He couldn’t breathe and blood was roaring in his ears.

The worst part? He knew that everything these illusions were saying was true. They were his creations, intentional or otherwise. Everything that they were saying was truths that he tried to block out for years now. He couldn’t deny the truth anymore.

Virgil opened his eyes to find the illusions gone and that he was all alone. He was always alone.

He clumsily wiped the tears off of his face and turned around to face the door. He could go talk to Patton. He could go debate with Logan. He could go banter with Roman. He could go see what Thomas was doing.

But, Patton thought he was needy. Logan thought he was a defeatist. Roman hated him. Thomas thought he would be better off without him.

They were all right. Virgil was needy, a defeatist, and they would all be better off without him. They were right to hate him.

Virgil reached out and locked his door.


	2. Chapter 2

The shadows came back.

Virgil didn’t know why he was surprised. He didn’t leave forever like they told him to; he came back. Yes, the others came and brought him back. Yes, Logan explained how necessary Virgil was to Thomas and his wellbeing. Yes, they accepted him. And, yes, he told them all his name.

But he still came back.

He could've opened himself back up to Thomas but not go back with the Light Sides. He could've told the Light Sides his name. He could've just let everything go back to normal. But, he got needy. The moment the others told him that he was needed, he did exactly the opposite of what the plan had been.

The moment that Patton had sunk out after giving Virgil the card, Virgil heard a foot tapping against the floor. He looked up from the card to see Shadow Patton in front of the couch, tapping his foot and shaking his head sternly at Virgil. He looked like a father scolding a disobedient child.

“ _ **I cannot believe you, Anxiety.**_ “ Shadow Patton said. “ _ **What, exactly, are you doing back here? You had a plan!**_ “ Shadow Patton threw his hands up in the air and heaved a big sigh. “ _ **I can’t believe you came crawling back at the first sign of attention.**_ “

Virgil glanced back down at the card the real Patton gave him. “They need me.” He whispered. “They said so. Logan explained it using that,” He waved a hand vaguely. “That curve thing. He called it the Yerks-Dodson Curve, right?”

“ _ **Who cares!?**_ ” Shadow Patton snapped. Virgil flinched and held his card to his chest like it was some form of protection. “ _ **Who cares what it's called?**_ ”

“It shows that I’m needed.” Virgil protested softly. “Thomas needs me.” A small smile crept across his face. He had lived with the fact that no matter how hard he tried not to, he would always be the villain that would end up hurting Thomas. The realization that that wasn’t true warmed something in Virgil. It felt so good to hear.

Shadow Patton sighed. “ ** _Okay. Maybe you are needed to help Thomas._** ” He said reluctantly. “ _ **But why does that mean that you needed to come back!? You could've opened yourself up to Thomas just a little and kept going. There was no reason for you to come back from the subconscious.**_ ” the smile slipped off Virgil’s face.

“You know that's not how that works!” Virgil cried. “It’s all or nothing! I either close myself off from Thomas completely or I don’t! You know that Pat-” Virgil cut himself off and shook himself off. “You’re not Patton. You’re not real.”

“ _ **You know what? No. I’m not.**_ ” Shadow Patton agreed. “ _ **I’m not Morality. I’m a creation of your mind and I’m just telling you what you already know.**_ ” Shadow Patton spread his arms desperately. “ _ **So why aren’t you listening to me? You could still go through with the plan. Keep yourself open to Thomas but isolate yourself. That way Thomas isn’t a bumbling idiot but no one has to deal with you directly. Simple!**_ ”

Virgil considered the idea. It could work. No matter what the Light Sides said, Virgil didn’t make things better. They might have “accepted” him right now but that didn’t mean that he would still be accepted in a month from now. They would try sure, but they would fall back into that old rhythm. Virgil would become Anxiety again and everything would go back to the way it was.

But, would they let Virgil leave? They knew that he was important to Thomas’ well-being now and what would happen without him around. They would be checking up on him regularly now. 

He teared up when he realized what that meant and his grip on his card tightened. He was a tool and tools needed care to make sure they did their job. This card was just a way to make Virgil stay around. 

He never thought that Patton would be able to think of something like this. Maybe he and Logan talked about it beforehand. That would make sense.

“No, it’s not.” Virgil said, wiping tears away from his eyes. “I’m, I’m just a tool. If I try to leave again, they’ll come after me. They won’t let me go anywhere, now that they know that Thomas needs me.”

Shadow Patton rubbed at his eyes tiredly. “ _ **Well, that’s your fault. Isn’t it?**_ ” Virgil nodded and bit back a sob. Shadow Patton rolled his eyes. “ _ **Stop blubbering already. You just need to wait that’s all. They’ll forget about you, eventually. Then you’ll be able to leave**_ ”

Virgil nodded and sniffed. A tear fell down his chin and hit his, Patton’s, card. He looked down and wanted to cry again. Even though the card was just a way to keep him around, Virgil liked the card. He liked the heart and the pictures and the famILY. It hurt that it was just a ploy. But, Virgil still liked the card.

“ _ **You’re not actually going to keep that, are you?**_ ” Shadow Patton mocked. Virgil bit his lip and shrugged.

“Patton might ask about it or tell the others and they’ll want to see it.” Virgil lied. Virgil hated lying, he hated it. It reminded him far too much of Deceit and if there was one thing that he did not want to become it was Deceit. But, if he told the truth, that he wanted to keep the card just because Patton gave it to him, Shadow Patton would make him give it up. 

Shadow Patton shrugged. “ _ **Fine. If you’re sure. Just remember,**_ ” He narrowed his eyes at Virgil “ _ **you owe them this.**_ ” And just like that, he disappeared. 

Virgil rubbed at the tear tracks on his cheeks. He could do this. He just had to wait, he could do that.

* * *

 

Waiting for everyone to forget about him was harder than Virgil thought it would be.

Virgil thought it would be a week, two tops before he would sink back into the villain role that he’d always play. He would go back into the subconscious, make sure to leave a note this time, and everything would be fine. Thomas would still have the anxiety, he just wouldn’t have to deal with Anxiety.

It had been a month. One full month.

Patton had gone full force in making Virgil a permanent part of the Light Sides’ family. The day after Virgil had ducked out Patton had woken him up and asked him if he wanted to come down for breakfast. 

Virgil wanted to say no. He knew that it would only hurt worse when he left if he said yes. But, Patton looked so hopeful. And Virgil thought that Roman was Thomas’ actor Side.

So he went downstairs for breakfast. And the next day. And the day after that. This continued. 

Patton wanted him out of his room more and would have Virgil take part in activities that, apparently, the others had made traditions. Movie nights, family meals, and other mundane things that just seemed so strange to Virgil. 

Roman, well Roman was weird. He was obviously trying to treat Virgil as a friend. It was just so strange. He cut down on the nicknames and apologized when he said one that went past the point of teasing. Roman asked him to watch Disney movies with him and actually listened when Virgil complained about a character or theme!

He woke Virgil up early one day and asked him if he wanted to go on an adventure in his room. Virgil, though hesitant, said yes thinking that maybe Roman was going to take him into his realm away from the others and tell him that it was time to move on. Instead, Roman took Virgil into his Kingdom and showed him around. There was no fighting, monsters, or anything else that would send Virgil into a panic attack. It was  ~~nice~~  weird.

Logan didn’t make any grand gestures. If Virgil wasn’t who he was, a freak who had to watch and analyze every move everyone around him made, he might’ve thought that Logan wasn’t doing anything different. But, he knew Logan’s morning routine and it did not include making an extra decaf coffee and placing it next to Virgil’s spot at the table. It did not include asking Virgil how he slept. It  _especially_  did not include giving Virgil a stern look when Virgil tried to leave before he finished at least half his breakfast.

Virgil was beginning to think that if Patton was the dad of the Light Sides than Logan was the mum.

But, no one seemed to be forgetting about him, not even Thomas. Virgil had been called up, outside of videos, just to talk. Thomas wanted to get to know him, to become his friend like Thomas was with the other Sides. 

Virgil knew that it was all just an act. He was a tool and they needed him to keep Thomas functional. They were just pretending, Virgil knew that. The Shadows reminded him of that every time he went back to his room.

They would be there waiting for him, to remind him exactly what he already knew. Shadow Logan would explain the Light Sides’ motive and plan in detail. Shadow Patton would be there to tell Virgil how much happier everyone was going to be when he left for good this time. Shadow Roman just loved to taunt Virgil with all of the the nicknames that the real Roman had stopped using like Charlie Frown.

The place that was once Virgil’s safe place was becoming the place he dreading going. He hated going from the Commons and the Light Sides care to crash hard back into reality. But, he hated going outside into the Commons even more. Virgil didn’t want to be around these people who were pretending to want to be his friend and know that none of it was real. So, he left his room less and less. He slowly stopped going down to morning breakfast and stopped spending the day down in the Commons. Virgil watched and, even though he did have a small bit of hope that maybe they would notice and bring him back down to spend time with them, no one did anything to stop him. Virgil didn’t know why he was surprised. 

After all, why would the Light Sides care if a tool hung around long term as long as it did its job?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Virgil had isolated himself in his room for a while now. He thinks the other Light Sides haven’t noticed. They have.
> 
> Big thanks to @lilcutekittykat over on Tumblr for proofreading this for me!

Patton sighed. He slid Logan’s egg off of the pan onto his plate and placed it on the counter next to the other three plates. His gaze landed on the plate farthest away from him and sighed again. Logan looked away from his newest book and gave Patton a sympathetic look. “Perhaps you should put Virgil’s plate back, Patton.” He suggested not unkindly. “If he hasn’t come down yet it is unlikely that he will come down at all.”

“I know, Teach,” Patton said. He blinked away tears and tried to hide his face from Logan. “I, I just don’t understand why! We were all getting along so well!” He placed the pan back on the oven burners and turned them off. Logan got up from his chair and walked over to the Moral side, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“We must remember that Virgil has been a part of our family for a short time and is unused to activities such as daily family meals.” Logan reminded Patton gently. “It is normal that he would relapse and go back to eating alone.” Patton whirled around, dislodging Logan’s hand, and glared at him. 

“Then why are we letting him?! He’s slipping back into old patterns, old patterns that we swore would never happen again, and we’re just letting him!” Patton snapped. His voice dropped and he looked away in guilt. “And he should’ve always been a part of the family.” He slumped against the counter and wrapped his arms around himself.

“We should’ve made sure that he was, was accepted.” Patton chocked out. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes hard but that did nothing to stop the tears. “We, I messed up. And, and now he’s, he thinks that,”

Logan stepped forwards and took Patton in his arms. “You were not the only one.” He said. “We all messed in regrades to Virgil and we all need to move forward. What done is done. That does not mean we can’t feel guilty for our mistakes but it does mean that we can fix said mistakes and see that the mistakes aren’t made twice.” Logan pulled back from Patton to look him in the eyes. “As for allowing him to spend more time in his room, I can only say that Virgil may be unused to spending so much time with others. It may be stressful for him and is that not what we are trying to avoid? We should allow him his time alone if it is what he wants.”

Patton nodded and wiped the remaining tears from his eyes. “I, I get that. But, maybe one of us should go upstairs and tell him that breakfast is ready, just to make sure that Virgil knows that he can come down if he wants.” Patton looked up at Logan with determination shining in his eyes. He lowered his voice intently. “You know that Virgil gets a lot of bad thoughts. Maybe he needs someone to reach out this time.”

Logan nodded and squeezed Patton’s shoulders. “Then I will go and speak to him. Perhaps while I do so you could go and get Roman. It’s about time that Thomas wakes up from that nonsensical dream.” Logan scoffed and shook his head. “In what world is a Dragon defeated by the use of a sword? Dragons don’t even exist!” Patton giggled and ducked out of Logan’s hold. 

“A world of magic, Lolo!” He called on his way out the kitchen. Logan rolled his eyes fondly and sunk down outside Virgil’s door. Perhaps Patton was right. Virgil was prone to Cognitive Distortions and it had only been only a month since his “ducking out”. It may be that instead of wanting space Virgil was afraid that he was annoying them with his presence. Logan would have to take measures to ensure that he would remember that in the future.

Logan leant forward and raised his hand meaning to knock on Virgil’s door but dropped it in confusion. He thought that he heard Roman but Roman was still in his room steering Thomas’ dream to a close. It couldn’t have been Roman. He stepped closer and put his ear to the door.

“ ** _Come on, Sunshine! Smell the roses, it’s time to move on! They hate you and can’t wait for you to leave! I mean, do you really believe that anyone wants you around? After all, you’re Charlie Frown!_** ” 

Logan frowned and felt annoyance and anger rise in him at a fast rate. He couldn’t believe that Roman was saying such hurtful things to Virgil! Roman had agreed to stop with the hurtful names and here he was calling Virgil Charlie Frown of all things! Logan thought that they all wanted Virgil to understand that he was accepted here.

Clearly, Virgil wasn’t the only one relapsing into old patterns.

Logan took the doorknob in his hand and opened the door. He walked inside Virgil’s room, ready to defend Virgil against Roman. “Roman, I cannot believe what I am hearing! What exactly are you doing,” Logan trailed off at the sight before him.

Virgil was cowering on the stairs with his hoodie wrapped tightly around him. The hood was pulled over his head and his arms were covering the majority of his face. The only part that Logan could see was Virgil’s eyes and they were fixed on Logan in horror.

Logan glanced over at Roman and nearly flinched back. That, that thing looked like Princey. He was wearing Roman’s outfit and was standing like Roman stood. But, his eyes were dark grey instead of the excitable brown that Logan was used to. Black smoke was leaking out of the monster’s eyes and its face was screwed up in anger and disgust.

“You,” Logan said. “You are not Roman.” He took a few steps towards Virgil, trying to get between him and the monster. Perhaps it was a creation from Roman’s realm. But, why would Roman create a monster version of himself?

Roman, fake Roman tilted its head at Logan curiously. It then grinned warmly at Logan. “ _ **Of course I am, friendo!**_ ” Fake Roman spread his hands. “ _ **Why would you ever think otherwise?**_ ”

“The smoke coming from your eyes for one,” Logan said dryly. He walked up to Virgil and glanced over at him. Virgil was shaking and was holding himself even more tightly. Logan slowly reached out a hand and settled it on Virgil’s shoulder. “Also, I doubt that the real Roman would speak so callously to Virgil.”

“ _ **Callously? I think you mean telling the truth!**_ ” Fake Roman leaned forward and sneered at Virgil. Virgil curled into himself. “ _ **Can you honestly tell me, Lo, that you can’t wait for the day that Anxiety here takes his leave?**_ ”

“Yes.” Logan adjusted his glasses and glared at the monster. “I can honestly say that I hope that he never leaves again. And,” He sneered right back at the monster. “His name is Virgil.”

“ _ **Does it really matter what his name is? He doesn’t deserve one anyways!**_ ” Logan’s head spun to the side and saw Patton standing there. He was grinning happily and gave Logan a little wave. Like Fake Roman, he had black smoke coming from his cold grey eyes. He looked around Logan and beamed at Virgil. “ _ **He understands that! Don’t you Anxiety?**_ ”

Virgil shuddered under Logan’s hand and lowered his arms to his sides. Logan stared at Fake Patton in mounting horror and decided that he wasn’t equipped for this. He tugged Virgil off of the stairs and pulled him to his side. 

“I don’t believe that it’s a good idea for the two of us to remain here. Now, please remove yourself from Virgil’s room immediately.” Logan tried to pull Virgil to the door but Fake Patton stepped in their way.

“ _ **Really, what’s all the fuss about Lolo? Virgil knows that he’s a mistake! He’s taking steps to leave so he won’t have to bother you or the others again!**_ ” Fake Patton said. Logan glanced down at Virgil sharply. Was he planning to duck out again? Had Logan failed in showing Virgil how much he was valued?

Virgil wilted under Logan’s gaze. “I, I’m not, it’s not what you think, Logan.” He whispered. He tugged at his hoddie’s collar and Logan could feel quiet sobs shake his body. “I, I wouldn’t. I’m sorry, I’m, I’m sorry.”

Logan shook himself. He needed to get Virgil out of here before he started to worry about this. Virgil was still here and whatever “plan” he had, he obviously hadn’t started it yet. They could all talk about it and talk through whatever thoughts Virgil had been plagued by.

After they got away from these creatures. 

Logan jutted out his chin and glared at Fake Patton. “Move or be moved.” He pushed Virgil behind him and got nose to nose with the monster. Fake Patton just smiled at him.

“ _ **C’mon, Lolo.**_ ” He said but Logan cut him off.

“Do not call me that name.” He spat out. “Only Patton is allowed to call me that. You,” He shook his head in disgust. “Are not Patton.”

Fake Patton pouted at him. “ _ **I expected that attitude from Anxiety, Logan. But not you!**_ ” He shook his head in disappointment. “ _ **Lying is bad, Logan. And even if Anxiety is a mistake, you shouldn’t lie to him and give him false hope.**_ ”

Logan clenched his hands into fists. This situation was unlike anything he had ever dealt with before and he didn’t know how to adequately defuse it. Virgil was obviously in no state to defend himself from these creatures and their words. 

From how Virgil looked, it seemed to be that he may even believe them. A problem that Logan would soon bring to everyone’s attention so they could rectify it. But, he couldn’t do that in here. 

He needed help.

Logan pushed Fake Patton back hard causing him to slam against the door leading out of Virgil’s room. He held out a hand and called out clearly, “Patton! Roman!” focusing on their presences and calling them to him. Virgil gasped and grabbed at the back of Logan’s shirt in protest but it was too late.

Roman sunk up, whipping his head around widely in confusion and annoyance. Patton stumbled as he sunk up and fought to regain his balance. “What’s the big idea, Specs!?” Roman asked. “You just cut off Thomas’ dream before he even,” He trailed off when he caught sight of the monsters. He straightened up and laid a hand on the hilt of his sword. “Oh. What is this?”

Patton looked at Fake Roman with concern in his eyes before looking at Virgil, who had let go of Logan’s shirt and was shrinking into himself. “Virgil? What are these, um?” Patton couldn’t seem to find a good way to end that question.

Fake Roman beamed at Patton. “ _ **Why Padre, I’m glad you asked! We’re Virgil’s creations of course!**_ ” Logan blinked in shock. Out of all of the possibilities he had thought of Virgil creating these things had never even crossed his mind. Why would Virgil make them? Logan turned to Virgil and quickly decided that even if the monster was speaking the truth, which Logan doubted greatly, Virgil feared the monsters. 

Roman quirked an eyebrow at his counterpart. “Really?” He asked all of his doubt packed into that one word. He looked at Virgil and his voice and expression softened. “Virgil, is this true?” Virgil looked down and tightened his hold on himself.

“I didn’t mean to,” Virgil whispered. “I,  they just show up sometimes. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”

“These, _things_ have shown up before?” Logan asked. He and Patton looked at Roman, the Side most used to creation, and Roman shrugged.

“It happens to me all the time. I create things without meaning to every day.” He confirmed. “But, I’ve never created things like this.”

“ ** _I’m not surprised._** ” Logan flinched back and gasped. A duplicate of him was leaning against the wall beside the door. Fake Patton grinned at him warmly and bounced over to side hug him. Logan’s duplicate hugged Fake Patton. “ _ **After all, Anxiety does seem to mess up everything he attempts.**_ ”

Roman frowned. “That’s not what I said! Thoughts and feelings sometimes control what you create!” He took a step towards Logan’s duplicate threateningly. “Do not try and twist my words around to make Virgil seem like the bad guy!”

Fake Roman scoffed. “ _ **But he is the bad guy! Don’t you remember, we hate him!**_ ” He waved a hand at the quivering Side. “ _ **He hurts Thomas all the time!**_ ”

Patton placed his hands on his hips and glared at Fake Roman. “He doesn’t! He is a part of Thomas and without Virgil, he would fall apart. And we do not hate Virgil!”

“Yes, you do.”

All eyes turned to Virgil. He had his hood pulled over his head and was glaring at the ground. Logan took a step towards him. “Virgil, you can’t really believe that. I know that we are still trying to atone for mistakes we have made in the past, but you must believe me when I say that we do not hate you!” Virgil snapped his head up.

“ **Don’t lie to me!** ” Logan, Patton, and Roman all flinched at the distortion in Virgil’s voice. Tears filled Virgil’s eyes and trickled down his cheeks. “ **I’m tired of you all lying to me!** ”

Patton shook his head wildly. “We’re not lying, kiddo!”

“ **Yes, you are!** ” Virgil screamed. “ **You’re lying, I know you are!** ” He scrubbed at his tears but they kept flowing. He lowered his voice but the distortion stayed. “ **You don’t have to lie all the time. I get it.** ” 

Fake Roman walked over and, ignoring Logan glare and the real Roman pulling his sword out of its sheath and pointed it at him in warning, laid his arms across Virgil’s shoulders. “ _ **Of course they are, Charlie Frown**_.” Patton glared at Fake Roman. 

“No, we’re not!” He tried to catch Virgil’s eyes but Virgil kept his gaze firmly on the ground. “Virgil, honey, what do you think we’re lying about?”

Virgil closed his eyes. “ **You don’t want me here. You, you’re all just trying to keep me around so Thomas doesn’t end up all messed up again.** ” He shook his head. “ **I’m just a tool and tools need care to make sure that can still be used. So, so you’re just pretending to like me.** ”

Logan narrowed his eyes. It seemed that they all failed remarkably when it came to their approach to Virgil. 

Again. Shit.

Logan shook his head. “No, Virgil. You are not a tool to us. We do care for you, I swear.” He looked over at Patton and jerked his head at Virgil. He tried to convey how much he needed his help in one look.

Luckily, Patton was great at reading looks. “Of course you’re not! We don’t just care for you, Virgil, we love you!” He walked forwards, grabbed Virgil by the shoulders and pulled him away from Fake Roman. Virgil stumbled but Patton steadied him and looked in his eyes. “You’re not a tool.”

Virgil trembled from the strength of his tears. “ **You’re, you’re lying. I know that. I know that.** ” Fake Patton nodded.

“ _ **Yes, sweetie. You do know that, Anxiety.**_ ” Roman looked at Fake Patton coldly. The real Patton squeezed Virgil’s shoulders comfortably.

“Virgil, I don’t think you really believe that,” Patton said gently. “Do you?” Virgil looked at him tearfully and shrugged. “If we were lying and really thought that you were a tool for us to use to keep Thomas healthy, do you think that we’d spend so much convincing you that we love you?”

Logan jumped in. “Patton’s right! Yes, Virgil, you are important to keeping Thomas safe and healthy. But, if we truly thought of you as a tool then,” He looked away from Virgil guilty. “We wouldn’t feel the way we do about how we once treated you.” Virgil glanced between Patton and Logan warily. 

“ **You, you don’t think that I’m** ,” Virgil coughed and when he next spoke the distortion was gone. “You don’t think I’m just some tool?”

“ _ **Don’t believe them!**_ ” Fake Patton snapped. The kind and fatherly act that he had been hiding behind dropped. “ ** _You know they’re lying! Follow the plan, Anxiety!_** ”

“And, what plan is this?” Roman asked. Virgil glanced away but Patton took his chin and made Virgil look him in his eyes.

“We’re not upset, Virgil.” He promised. “We just want to understand. Tell us about the plan, it’s okay.”

Virgil sniffed and rubbed at his eyes. “I was going to leave. Keep myself open to Thomas but still go into the subconscious. So, so you wouldn’t have to deal with me or have me around.”

“But we want to have you around!” Patton said passionately. “Virgil, we fucked up.” Virgil’s mouth dropped open in shock at hearing Patton swear but, Logan wasn’t at all surprised. While Patton did advocate for not swearing, he did sometimes mess up and drop a curse or two.

“We did. We should have never have neglected you like we did all those years. And, we’re sorry.” Patton gently wiped away the tears still clinging to Virgil’s eyelashes. “I know that an apology can’t fix everything. But, neither can you going off into the subconscious alone.” Virgil flushed in shame but Patton was quick to try and make him understand. “I’m not blaming you, Virge. I’m not! But, I want you to understand, these monsters have been telling you lies! We want you here, I promise.“

“Virgil, I consider myself an expert at acting and make-believe,” Roman said. He slid his sword back in its sheath and walked to Virgil and Patton. his counterpart tried to get in his way but Roman wasn’t going to be stopped. He grabbed the impostor by the shoulders and shoved him to the floor, making Fake Patton scream. Roman placed his hand on Virgil’s back.

“Us wanting you? That’s real, it’s not acting.” Roman smiled down at him and ran his hand up and down Virgil’s arm soothingly. “These fakers-”

Virgil cut him off. “Shadows.” Virgil blushed and avoided everyone’s gaze. “I call them shadows.”

“An apt name,” Logan said. He stepped over Roman’s impostor, his shadow he corrected himself, and made sure to look into Virgil’s eyes. “Virgil. These shadows are cognitive distortions brought to life. They are feeding into your fears.”

“ _ **Falsehood!**_ ” Shadow Logan snapped. He unwrapped his arms from Shadow Patton and stepped forward. Logan waved his hand dismissively at his duplicate before he could start talking, almost like he was shooing away a pest.

"I falsehood your falsehood.” He said simply. “You are speaking nothing but lies, hurtful ones at that.” Logan placed a hand on Virgil’s arm and squeezed it gently. He gave his shadow a condescending smile. “Your presence is no longer needed here. You may go now.”

Shadow Logan sneered. “ _ **Virgil does not want me to leave. I am a constant and I the one who helps him sort through all of the lies you and the others tell him.**_ ” He took a step forward, the smoke coming from his eyes darker and thicker. “ ** _He needs me_**.”

Logan scoffed and turned away from his shadow, giving Virgil a soft and rare smile. “Virgil, would you like for, ah, Shadow Logan to leave?” 

Virgil’s eyes flicked from Logan to Logan’s shadow nervously before nodding slowly. He stared at Shadow Logan for a few moments and then said softly. “I want you to leave.” Shadow Logan’s didn’t have time to even twitch before he faded into smoke which seemed to be swallowed by the natural darkness of Virgil’s room.

“ _ **Stop it!**_ ” Shadow Roman screamed. “ _ **Stop it right now!**_ ” He pushed himself up and balled his fists. “ ** _Stop that, Charlie Frown!_** ” He took a threatening step forward but was pushed back by Roman.

“Really,” Roman mocked. “It’s bad enough that you’ve called him that, but twice? That alone proves you’re not me. I’ve never used the same one twice, especially in the same sitting.”

Shadow Roman balked. “ _ **Why you-**_ ”

Roman spun on his heel and took Virgil’s hand, much to Virgil’s surprise. “I know we’re still learning about each other,” he said gently, “so how about you tell Prince Faker here to go away and we can go down for breakfast? We can learn more about each other down there. Together.”

Virgil swallowed and looked over at the seething Shadow Prince. When he spoke, his voice was a little louder, like he was gaining an ounce of courage from the Creative Side. “Go away.”

Logan got one good look at Shadow Roman’s infuriated face before he dissolved into shadows. “And, then there was one,” Logan announced as he turned to face Shadow Patton.

Shadow Patton took a deep breath and smiled. Logan shivered at the sight. He couldn’t imagine what Virgil had gone through if he had to listen to the Shadow’s terrible lies while one of the Shadow was wearing a form that looked exactly like the real Patton.

“ _ **I know you’re going to tell me to leave, Kiddo,**_ ” Shadow Patton said calmly. “ _ **But that won’t change anything. Things may be good for now, but for how long? How long will you be accepted for, I wonder.**_ ”

Patton turned around and faced his Shadow, matching the Shadow’s smile with his dangerous own. “Forever.” He said firmly. “Virgil will be part of our family forever.” His lips stretched into a grin. “And I dare you to say even one more word to him. See what happens.”

Shadow Patton stayed silent and just watched the original. Patton nodded and turned to Virgil. “I think it’s time for him to leave. What do you think, Kiddo?” Virgil nodded and pointed at Shadow Patton, who just smile indulgently at him like he was doing some especially amusing.

“I, I w-want,” Virgil clenched his free hand into a fist at the stutter and his hand fell to his side. Shadow Patton’s smile just widened triumphantly, “I want y-you to, to,” He glanced at Logan helplessly and Logan gave him a calm look.

“You can do this,” Logan assured him. He looked at Shadow Patton and he realized that he must be looking at the leader of the Shadows. The one who hurt Virgil the most. “I know it’s hard, but I am one hundred percent certain that you can make him leave.” He placed his hand on Virgil’s shoulder. Patton reached back and grabbed Virgil’s free hand gently and Roman held Virgil’s other one. 

Virgil straightened, probably by having his family all around him, and glared at Shadow Patton with tears in his eyes. He stared at him for a second before hissing hatefully, “Fuck. Off.”

Shadow Patton dissolved and Virgil finally lost his composure. His knees buckled but he was held up by his family. Logan pulled all four of them down into the Commons just as Virgil started sobbing.

The four of them were going to have a long talk when Virgil calmed down. It wasn’t going to be a very happy one by the sounds of it but it was one that was going to have to happen. 

Logan smiled as he watched Roman pull Virgil into a tight hug and Patton rub Virgil’s back soothingly. But, he had a feeling once they all understood exactly how much those Shadows had damaged their Storm Cloud, they could start reversing the damage. From there, things would improve. Logan was sure of it.


End file.
